[Sweaty Eds]

Great Coffees I have had

1. Cultural – Cafe Grande in Piazza della Signoria, Florence following a trip to the Uffizi gallery and immediately before a stroll over the Ponte Vecchio and up to see Michaelangelo’s David in Academia Gallery in the hills overlooking Tuscany.

2. Sporting – an Americano opposite the finish line of the Tour of Britain stage to Caerphilly watching the ITV4 commentator, Olympic medalist Rob Hayles, interview Sky star of the future and new race leader, John Teirnan-Locke, before cycling up the mountain that the peloton had just climbed.

3. Personal Achievement – a Cappuccino after climbing and then descending Snowdon with Ruth. Bit of a grey old day, took over 2 hours to get to the top but then the Sun came out for 20 minutes at the summit. Glorious! Excrutiating descent into the fog and myre, knees killing, getting dark but a great feeling when we were sitting in the cafe with hot drinks.

One that didn’t make my top three

Out on very enjoyable ride with friends looking forward to cafe stop in top Amroth cafe with most excellent view or very agreeable garden centre in Tavernspite. Veer off beaten track into Deliverance country. See three shire horses approach advance party of cafe hunting cyclists, feel bum twitch slightly when I realised that they were not horses but massive bastard alsatians and that I was going to have to go past them next. Survive alsatians and approach next challenge, the impossibly slippy decking of the Port-a-Kafe.

When I was a boy I remember there were an awful lot of public information films on TV. My favourite ones featured a boy and his cat, Charlie. Charlie was terrifically mature for a cat his age and was full of good advice on a range of subjects such as talking to strangers, crossing the road and mange. Anyway, there was also a public information film about some numpty who polished the floor before her son, daughter in law and new grandchild arrived home from the maternity ward. Unfortunately, she then put a rug on the polished floor. ‘You might as well set a mantrap’. Obviously, tragedy ensued. Anyway, the Port-a-Kafe owners must’ve never seen that film because the deck was as slippery as a very slippy thing in Slippy Town. Not easy to negotiate in climbing crampons, very tricky in cleats. We are all going to enter ‘Dancing on Ice’ next year.

Coffees came and went in my Nan’s old china, conversation swung between routes from here avoiding/including sheer ascents to French kissing Italian attack dogs. Soon enough it was time to leave, ever to return….?

[Sweaty Eds]

It was a great day.

It was a real eye opener with regard to the little differences between mountain bikers and proper cyclists. Of course there was the lycra thing and the lack of pointing out of obstacles but the main difference was the terminology. It may have been of benefit for me to have studied my mountain bike slang dictionary a little more thoroughly before we set off. For instance the term ‘One last little climb and it’s all downhill from there’ actually means the polar opposite and ‘Spongey’ as in ‘The back brake on the bike I’m loaning you is a little spongey’ actually means ‘The back brake on the bike I’m loaning you will lull you into a false sense of security by working normally for ten minutes or so, before, at the top of the black run downhill section, ceasing having any slowing effect whatsoever.’

Thanks to our two mentors for their technical advice, encouragement and patience.

[Sweaty Eds]

I’m quite looking forward to seeing this bike, Slinkster Mc Slink.

I did read in the Western Telegraph this morning that a heartless thief had stolen the Miniman’s ancient bicycle from his hovel on the Kilgetty roundabout. Apparently the baby-faced burglar was seen making his getaway heading in the direction of Martin James’ Health Spa. I’m sure there must have been some mistake when the photofit image was issued with the assailant wearing a red and black tight fitting top and witnesses could not have been correct when they swore that, during the crime, the air was filled with a pungent aroma of baby’s nappies and Paco Robanne.

A word to the wise, Mr Mc Slink, if I turn up on Saturday and find the bike with rags for tyres, I am going to be mighty suspicious.

Right, so on my list of things to bring

– child seat

– pedals

– brakes

– possibly tyres

– beard (as disguise when riding stolen bike)

I am very much looking forward to Saturday.

Sweatster Mc Sweats

PS Thanks for the Movember donation

[Sweaty Eds]

We’re having a MoBro get together this Thursday at 6pm in the Ivy Bush, all welcome.

[Sweaty Eds]

Fellow Dynamos

You may have noticed that seven of your fellows have been growing moustaches during the month of November. As well as being incredibly stylish, we have been doing this as part of Movember, a worldwide campaign to highlight men’s health issues such as prostate and testicular cancer. I know I speak for many of us when I say that I, personally, check myself for testicular cancer once every 20 seconds or so, and I remember our Beloved Chairman telling me that that his wife, Lady Rees, gives his prostate a thorough examination once a year on his birthday.

Part of the campaign is to raise money, if everyone reading this donates 50p then the team will raise…well 50p probably. Thanks Dad.

Follow the link

http://uk.movember.com/team/610193

[Sweaty Eds]

Tidy

[Sweaty Eds]

If our glorious chairman doesn’t want your spare bike, can I borrow it?

[Sweaty Eds]

Sounds good, mate.

Can you hire bikes there? My mountain bike has got a child seat on the back. Actually, maybe I’ll take that one and pop you in it when you get tired.

[Sweaty Eds]

Oooo I really like this game.

Brass Neck

Is it

a. Brass Neck – a disease in sheep. From an old farming dialect, Ooh Aahh Brrrass Neck, a mysterious condition in which your randy ram gets so excited that his whole body becomes rigid hence, Brass Neck.

b. Brass Neck – a chemical element. One of transitional metals in the halogen family in the periodic table.

c. Brass Neck – someone who shows brass neck has no shame in what they have done. An example would be to wear a Narberth Dynamos shirt on, say, the Pembrokeshire Bike ride and not actually be a member. This could be compounded by complaining about other non-members wearing said Dynamo shirt.

d. Brass Neck – a severe form of the cyclists favourite, Brass Monkeys.

So there you have it.

a disease in sheep

a chemical element

extreme confidence in self

a very cold cyclist

Over to you, Slinky

[Sweaty Eds]

Five masochists assembled at Bloomfield ready for the South Coast Torture, Nick B with camera, Flapjack, Gary, my Sweaty self and a guest from Norfolk, Dumbledore’s younger brother, Ian. Everyone was sporting winter tights, booties, hats and a variety of thermals, everyone that is except Gary. Either the climate in Login is significantly warmer that that of Narberth or the twenty-five years propping up the Rhiwbina front row have made him impervious to the cold, because he arrived in short socks and short shorts, his only concession to the frost was a pair a gloves, he was even wearing sunglasses.

We cautiously eased our way out of Narberth following the posted route. It was one of those rare club rides when everyone stayed together and chatted. This caused a few problems for those of us used to being left behind but Nick seemed to take my constant elbows in his ribs and random changes of direction in good faith. We reached the icy wasteland of Tavernspite and slid down Brandy Hill towards the Tuscan hills of the Greater Laugharne area. After a couple of subtle toilet stops we climbed the Giant of Pendine. At the top Flapjack and Nick headed along the coast. Gary, Ian and myself headed back to Narberth.

Ride stats

Hardy Souls; 5

Notable absentees; Several, including route setter!

Icy Patches; Many

Bare Limbs; 2

Top tips from NB coaching; one each

Coaching charges from NB; Dynamo member discount still being negotiated

Warm Upper Lips; 2

The duvet Dynamos can still enjoy the ride by purchasing the DVD from the NB Cycling website. I imagine that all those attending the Turbo session this Tues will have the chance to enjoy it. I think Nick said he is going to title it ‘Le Supplesse Masterclass’.

[Sweaty Eds]

First week’s team photo now posted.

http://uk.movember.com/team/610193

Feel free to follow the link and join the team or donate.

I hope the link works, if it doesn’t just enter Narberth Dynamos on the Movember website.

[Sweaty Eds]

It’s still early in Movember but this Sunday saw four of the Dynamos team baring their bumfluff in harness.

First up was our Beloved Chairman sporting a fledgling Lee Van Cleef, I couldn’t really see it until Celia asked about a coffee stop. At this his eyes narrowed and his chistled features fixed into a mean, faraway stare. One to watch.

Next to arrive was Roger with an early Nigel Mansell. The effect of this had been enhanced by an extremely close early morning shave and liberal applications of Mr Snodgrass’s Moustache Grooming Wax. An early favourite for most growth.

The unmoustached Dan, Mark, Celia and Kim arrived. Kim had brought Ian and the beginnings of a Graeme Souness. It may have just been the sun in my eyes, but the moustache certainly appeared to have a more than expected reddish hue, Scottish ancestry?

Anyway, with my very poor Desperate Dan style stubble I felt in awe of all my moustachioed teammates, then Graham arrived beneath a full Dumbledore. I think Kim was about to point out that, strictly speaking, beards weren’t moustaches and that we were all supposed to be clean shaved on the morning of November 1st when the Professor went on the offensive about start times.

At 9.03 precisely we rolled out towards Molleston. We quickly aligned ourselves into our usual hill formation, Graham and Roger off the front, Ian and Andrew close behind, Celia and Kim effortlessly spinning up whilst chatting about make-up, the X Factor and shoes, Dan and Mark floating up a long way ahead of the Lantern Rouge.

At the top of the hill we were treating to another ‘Walton Materclass in Puncture Repair’. This masterclass was slightly shorter than the one previously described during the Narcar but was of sufficent length for Dumbledore to disappear into the ether and for my Desperate Dan to have moved several steps closer to a Brian Blessed. I think that he took pity on us due to the fact that it was cold and about to bucket down because, rather than entertain us with his full repertoire of puncture two, three and four, he rather abruptly ended the fun with an immediate second puncture. Even Celia’s observation that it was only flat at the bottom couldn’t persuade him to continue with his much loved routine.

The rest of us went on with one eye on the darkening skies. Mark had had enough at Loveston and Celia and myself bailed out at Cresselly. It didn’t stop us getting soaked and freezing before we had passed Reynalton but, the thought that at least we weren’t still pedalling away from home, made it more bearable.

A final word on an absent member, I overheard someone saying that Nick Brown was holding a Power Moustache Growing Workshop early on Sunday, you don’t think….

[Sweaty Eds]

Last year’s effort mate.

Today my face is a smooth as a baby’s behind.

[Sweaty Eds]

Mate, I think you may be expecting this to be something it just isn’t going to be.

With the exceptions of Des Lynam, Tom Selleck and that girl I tried to pull at the Bath University Fresher’s Week Pickled Onion Eating Contest in 1983, no-one, but no-one, looks good with a moustache.

[Sweaty Eds]

Hi Matt

Babysitter double booking incident.

Only one place for me now please.

[Author]

Posts

[Sweaty Eds]

Great Coffees I have had

1. Cultural – Cafe Grande in Piazza della Signoria, Florence following a trip to the Uffizi gallery and immediately before a stroll over the Ponte Vecchio and up to see Michaelangelo’s David in Academia Gallery in the hills overlooking Tuscany.

2. Sporting – an Americano opposite the finish line of the Tour of Britain stage to Caerphilly watching the ITV4 commentator, Olympic medalist Rob Hayles, interview Sky star of the future and new race leader, John Teirnan-Locke, before cycling up the mountain that the peloton had just climbed.

3. Personal Achievement – a Cappuccino after climbing and then descending Snowdon with Ruth. Bit of a grey old day, took over 2 hours to get to the top but then the Sun came out for 20 minutes at the summit. Glorious! Excrutiating descent into the fog and myre, knees killing, getting dark but a great feeling when we were sitting in the cafe with hot drinks.

One that didn’t make my top three

Out on very enjoyable ride with friends looking forward to cafe stop in top Amroth cafe with most excellent view or very agreeable garden centre in Tavernspite. Veer off beaten track into Deliverance country. See three shire horses approach advance party of cafe hunting cyclists, feel bum twitch slightly when I realised that they were not horses but massive bastard alsatians and that I was going to have to go past them next. Survive alsatians and approach next challenge, the impossibly slippy decking of the Port-a-Kafe.

When I was a boy I remember there were an awful lot of public information films on TV. My favourite ones featured a boy and his cat, Charlie. Charlie was terrifically mature for a cat his age and was full of good advice on a range of subjects such as talking to strangers, crossing the road and mange. Anyway, there was also a public information film about some numpty who polished the floor before her son, daughter in law and new grandchild arrived home from the maternity ward. Unfortunately, she then put a rug on the polished floor. ‘You might as well set a mantrap’. Obviously, tragedy ensued. Anyway, the Port-a-Kafe owners must’ve never seen that film because the deck was as slippery as a very slippy thing in Slippy Town. Not easy to negotiate in climbing crampons, very tricky in cleats. We are all going to enter ‘Dancing on Ice’ next year.

Coffees came and went in my Nan’s old china, conversation swung between routes from here avoiding/including sheer ascents to French kissing Italian attack dogs. Soon enough it was time to leave, ever to return….?

[Sweaty Eds]

It was a great day.

It was a real eye opener with regard to the little differences between mountain bikers and proper cyclists. Of course there was the lycra thing and the lack of pointing out of obstacles but the main difference was the terminology. It may have been of benefit for me to have studied my mountain bike slang dictionary a little more thoroughly before we set off. For instance the term ‘One last little climb and it’s all downhill from there’ actually means the polar opposite and ‘Spongey’ as in ‘The back brake on the bike I’m loaning you is a little spongey’ actually means ‘The back brake on the bike I’m loaning you will lull you into a false sense of security by working normally for ten minutes or so, before, at the top of the black run downhill section, ceasing having any slowing effect whatsoever.’

Thanks to our two mentors for their technical advice, encouragement and patience.

[Sweaty Eds]

I’m quite looking forward to seeing this bike, Slinkster Mc Slink.

I did read in the Western Telegraph this morning that a heartless thief had stolen the Miniman’s ancient bicycle from his hovel on the Kilgetty roundabout. Apparently the baby-faced burglar was seen making his getaway heading in the direction of Martin James’ Health Spa. I’m sure there must have been some mistake when the photofit image was issued with the assailant wearing a red and black tight fitting top and witnesses could not have been correct when they swore that, during the crime, the air was filled with a pungent aroma of baby’s nappies and Paco Robanne.

A word to the wise, Mr Mc Slink, if I turn up on Saturday and find the bike with rags for tyres, I am going to be mighty suspicious.

Right, so on my list of things to bring

– child seat

– pedals

– brakes

– possibly tyres

– beard (as disguise when riding stolen bike)

I am very much looking forward to Saturday.

Sweatster Mc Sweats

PS Thanks for the Movember donation

[Sweaty Eds]

We’re having a MoBro get together this Thursday at 6pm in the Ivy Bush, all welcome.

[Sweaty Eds]

Fellow Dynamos

You may have noticed that seven of your fellows have been growing moustaches during the month of November. As well as being incredibly stylish, we have been doing this as part of Movember, a worldwide campaign to highlight men’s health issues such as prostate and testicular cancer. I know I speak for many of us when I say that I, personally, check myself for testicular cancer once every 20 seconds or so, and I remember our Beloved Chairman telling me that that his wife, Lady Rees, gives his prostate a thorough examination once a year on his birthday.

Part of the campaign is to raise money, if everyone reading this donates 50p then the team will raise…well 50p probably. Thanks Dad.

Follow the link

http://uk.movember.com/team/610193

[Sweaty Eds]

Tidy

[Sweaty Eds]

If our glorious chairman doesn’t want your spare bike, can I borrow it?

[Sweaty Eds]

Sounds good, mate.

Can you hire bikes there? My mountain bike has got a child seat on the back. Actually, maybe I’ll take that one and pop you in it when you get tired.

[Sweaty Eds]

Oooo I really like this game.

Brass Neck

Is it

a. Brass Neck – a disease in sheep. From an old farming dialect, Ooh Aahh Brrrass Neck, a mysterious condition in which your randy ram gets so excited that his whole body becomes rigid hence, Brass Neck.

b. Brass Neck – a chemical element. One of transitional metals in the halogen family in the periodic table.

c. Brass Neck – someone who shows brass neck has no shame in what they have done. An example would be to wear a Narberth Dynamos shirt on, say, the Pembrokeshire Bike ride and not actually be a member. This could be compounded by complaining about other non-members wearing said Dynamo shirt.

d. Brass Neck – a severe form of the cyclists favourite, Brass Monkeys.

So there you have it.

a disease in sheep

a chemical element

extreme confidence in self

a very cold cyclist

Over to you, Slinky

[Sweaty Eds]

Five masochists assembled at Bloomfield ready for the South Coast Torture, Nick B with camera, Flapjack, Gary, my Sweaty self and a guest from Norfolk, Dumbledore’s younger brother, Ian. Everyone was sporting winter tights, booties, hats and a variety of thermals, everyone that is except Gary. Either the climate in Login is significantly warmer that that of Narberth or the twenty-five years propping up the Rhiwbina front row have made him impervious to the cold, because he arrived in short socks and short shorts, his only concession to the frost was a pair a gloves, he was even wearing sunglasses.

We cautiously eased our way out of Narberth following the posted route. It was one of those rare club rides when everyone stayed together and chatted. This caused a few problems for those of us used to being left behind but Nick seemed to take my constant elbows in his ribs and random changes of direction in good faith. We reached the icy wasteland of Tavernspite and slid down Brandy Hill towards the Tuscan hills of the Greater Laugharne area. After a couple of subtle toilet stops we climbed the Giant of Pendine. At the top Flapjack and Nick headed along the coast. Gary, Ian and myself headed back to Narberth.

Ride stats

Hardy Souls; 5

Notable absentees; Several, including route setter!

Icy Patches; Many

Bare Limbs; 2

Top tips from NB coaching; one each

Coaching charges from NB; Dynamo member discount still being negotiated

Warm Upper Lips; 2

The duvet Dynamos can still enjoy the ride by purchasing the DVD from the NB Cycling website. I imagine that all those attending the Turbo session this Tues will have the chance to enjoy it. I think Nick said he is going to title it ‘Le Supplesse Masterclass’.

[Sweaty Eds]

First week’s team photo now posted.

http://uk.movember.com/team/610193

Feel free to follow the link and join the team or donate.

I hope the link works, if it doesn’t just enter Narberth Dynamos on the Movember website.

[Sweaty Eds]

It’s still early in Movember but this Sunday saw four of the Dynamos team baring their bumfluff in harness.

First up was our Beloved Chairman sporting a fledgling Lee Van Cleef, I couldn’t really see it until Celia asked about a coffee stop. At this his eyes narrowed and his chistled features fixed into a mean, faraway stare. One to watch.

Next to arrive was Roger with an early Nigel Mansell. The effect of this had been enhanced by an extremely close early morning shave and liberal applications of Mr Snodgrass’s Moustache Grooming Wax. An early favourite for most growth.

The unmoustached Dan, Mark, Celia and Kim arrived. Kim had brought Ian and the beginnings of a Graeme Souness. It may have just been the sun in my eyes, but the moustache certainly appeared to have a more than expected reddish hue, Scottish ancestry?

Anyway, with my very poor Desperate Dan style stubble I felt in awe of all my moustachioed teammates, then Graham arrived beneath a full Dumbledore. I think Kim was about to point out that, strictly speaking, beards weren’t moustaches and that we were all supposed to be clean shaved on the morning of November 1st when the Professor went on the offensive about start times.

At 9.03 precisely we rolled out towards Molleston. We quickly aligned ourselves into our usual hill formation, Graham and Roger off the front, Ian and Andrew close behind, Celia and Kim effortlessly spinning up whilst chatting about make-up, the X Factor and shoes, Dan and Mark floating up a long way ahead of the Lantern Rouge.

At the top of the hill we were treating to another ‘Walton Materclass in Puncture Repair’. This masterclass was slightly shorter than the one previously described during the Narcar but was of sufficent length for Dumbledore to disappear into the ether and for my Desperate Dan to have moved several steps closer to a Brian Blessed. I think that he took pity on us due to the fact that it was cold and about to bucket down because, rather than entertain us with his full repertoire of puncture two, three and four, he rather abruptly ended the fun with an immediate second puncture. Even Celia’s observation that it was only flat at the bottom couldn’t persuade him to continue with his much loved routine.

The rest of us went on with one eye on the darkening skies. Mark had had enough at Loveston and Celia and myself bailed out at Cresselly. It didn’t stop us getting soaked and freezing before we had passed Reynalton but, the thought that at least we weren’t still pedalling away from home, made it more bearable.

A final word on an absent member, I overheard someone saying that Nick Brown was holding a Power Moustache Growing Workshop early on Sunday, you don’t think….

[Sweaty Eds]

Last year’s effort mate.

Today my face is a smooth as a baby’s behind.

[Sweaty Eds]

Mate, I think you may be expecting this to be something it just isn’t going to be.

With the exceptions of Des Lynam, Tom Selleck and that girl I tried to pull at the Bath University Fresher’s Week Pickled Onion Eating Contest in 1983, no-one, but no-one, looks good with a moustache.

[Sweaty Eds]

Hi Matt

Babysitter double booking incident.

Only one place for me now please.

[Author]

Posts