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Sweaty Eds
MemberPunctures – The Walton Way
First, ensure plentiful supply of punctures by riding along pothole-ridden, hawthorn-strewn cycle path.
Then, when inevitable puncture results, pull over to side of road and initiate the inner tube change procedure.
1. Carefully place gloves on handy barrier.
2. Carefully remove spare inner tube and tyre levers from saddlebag.
3. Carefully place dust cap and washer from burst tyre on handy barrier.
4. Deftly slip tyre from rim using tyre levers.
5. Rashly slam tyre lever onto handy barrier causing previously carefully placed objects to fall into long grass and disappear from view.
6. Scowl at offer of assistance to find previously carefully placed objects now nestling deep in the undergrowth.
7. Carefully examine punctured inner tube looking for tiny pin prick.
8. Scowl when assistant suggests it may be more appropriate to do that away from speeding traffic when other club members are not waiting for us.
9. Carefully place dust cap and washer from replacement tyre on handy barrier.
10. Deftly slip new inner tube into position and replace tyre using tyre levels.
11. Rashly slam tyre lever onto handy barrier for a second time causing previously carefully placed objects to fall into long grass and disappear from view.
12. Scowl.
13. Rejoin peloton.
14. Stop every 400-500 yards to reinflate tyre until the need to re-replace inner tube becomes overpowering.
15. Repeat steps 1 to 15.
Truly a masterclass. 😆
Sweaty Eds
MemberSorry not to make the club ride this morning, I’ve got a really sore neck. I’ve had a medic look at it (luckily there was a Narberth GP at the finish line yesterday) and he confirmed that my injuries are consistent with being shunted (his words) from the rear. Quite nasty, apparently.
Top couple of days, great routes, great company, great fun.
In my mind, our route up, the NARCAR, is already a classic ride, absolutely epic. Can’t wait to do it again next year.
Good luck to those club members doing the second day of their double century today.
Sweaty Eds
MemberAfter lunch on what day?
The route looks great, I love that road through Llanarthney. I’m really looking forward to it.
I’m working next weekend and busy on Wednesdays so I’ll see you all on the morning of the prologue.
Sweaty Eds
MemberI confirm that I am cycling up on Friday and would like a room.
When Mat G first mentioned it, I thought he was kidding about cycling up over the Beacons, now I know him a little better, I realise he isn’t. In all seriousness, unless I have misunderstood the geography of the Beacons, I think I will struggle to cycle back from Cardiff if I have arrived by that route.
In fact, I have been experiencing a recurrant nightmare in which I am picked up by the Carten broom wagon. In my exhausted state I fail to realise that the wagon is actually a delivery van from a local award winning butchers. Once I am on board and away from prying eyes, Seamus appears and forces me into a mincing machine. That week’s roadkill special in said establishment is Sweaty’s Kidney pie. AAAAGGHH!! Obviously, I wake up bathed in sweat.
I would hate anyone not to fulfill their weekly suffer quota because of me so might it be an idea to offer two routes, one mountainous and, maybe, taking in some areas where you might be in danger of an apache ambush or catching leprosy, say, and one more sedate route via, perhaps, a church fete or garden centre tea rooms, or, at least, following the very acceptable SUSTRANS route.
I will go along with the consensus.
I will, of course, be bringing a sponge.
Sweaty Eds
MemberLooks amazing!!!
Whilst watching I realised a couple of things;
1. I recognise everyone from their backsides.
2. It was just like a Sunday club run, except something wasn’t quite right. On a Sunday, rather than passing everyone as Nick has done, everyone slowly disappears away from me into the far distance. I have watched the clip backwards and that is much more like the real thing!
Sweaty Eds
MemberFollow the links below to see what the fair-weather cyclists have been doing
http://app.strava.com/rides/6899144
http://app.strava.com/rides/6899148
Sweaty Eds
MemberI’m so embarrassed Trevaughan, sorry mate.
Sweaty Eds
MemberIf Janice has dropped out, does this affect the ferrying of our kit up to Cardiff? As Andrew’s new squeeze, will Clover now be in charge of logistics?
Alternatively, we could adopt a handicap system with each rider carrying kit according to ability. I suggest Andrew and Huw take the bulky items such as our dinner jackets, shoes, iron etc, Kim and Ian could look after pyjamas, Flapjackman, of course, will be carrying provisions and I will gladly take the club washbag with the communal toothbrush and showergel.
(NB. I am assuming that Clover will be so weighed down with ‘toys’, ‘aids’ and role-play dressing-up gear, in preparation for his and Andrew’s night of ‘topping and tailing’, that he won’t be able to join the handicap.)
Sweaty Eds
MemberComrade, thank you for your support. Come the glorious revolution your loyalty will be rewarded.
Unfortunately, I am unable to attend this Sunday.
Sweaty Eds
MemberThe Slinky Otter has said that he’s been cycling with me, but I’ve been racking my brain and I cannot think who it is. Mind, I did once go out with a girl with a stinky beaver, wonder if she’s his sister?
In a bit of a quandary about tonight. On the one hand, if I ever want to graduate from the Flat Earthers and, perhaps, find a place with Huw and Roger’s newly formed hill walking group, this is just the sort of night I need to be out topping up my fitness and breaking in my walking boots. On the other, it is wet, windy and awful.
In situations such as this, I always ask myself, ‘What would the great Eddie Yeats do?’ Using that criteria I’m off to Cost Cutters to stock up on Stella and pork scratchin’s before I settle down to watch the football.
Sweaty Eds
MemberI’ll have full English breakfast please. I need a roomy too.
Sweaty Eds
MemberWhat a beautiful day for cycling yesterday was!
Whilst the bulk of the group headed northwards, the Landsker Four, namely Graham Cancellara, Celia Pantani, Andrew ‘Ajax’ Cavendish and myself, Sweating Buckets Eds, headed south. We modified the route slightly and went down Pendine hill, climbed up out of Laugharne and headed towards St Clears. I say St Clears but, although it may have been the sweat in my eyes, I swear I saw the Duomo of Florence nestling between the Tuscan hills as we sped down another incline. We returned via the Alpinesque slope of Llandowror.
Our Statistics
Roadkill; two badgers and a pheasant (look out for Badger Burgers this week in a local award winning butchers)
Toilet stops; two – one official (and quite chemically one) in Pendine, one not so official and certainly more organic one between Red Roses and Tavernspite.
Arms exposed; six (Graham doesn’t unwrap, apparently, until the temp reaches the thirties)
Distance 34.17 miles
Time 2.26.40 hours
Ave 14.0mph
Elevation gained 2364ft
Which, if my calculations are correct, means that we climbed on average a massive 69.47 ft per mile whereas the Flat Earthers to the North climbed a paltry 69.21 ft per mile. Funny what you can show with statistics.
I must share our climb up Llandowror, we blasted up in a pace line Cancellara, Pantani, Cavendish, Lantern Rouge and this is our result!
http://app.strava.com/segments/996962
I really had a great morning, thanks everyone.
Sweaty Eds
MemberA beautiful morning, sunshine, no wind, a quorum of club members, everything set for a great ride. Who could have predicted that this day would surely see the beginning of the end for one of the club’s stalwarts.
There were early signs, of course, there always are. Explaining Kim’s absence with a dismissive shrug, arriving on time, that sort of thing. If only we’d been alive to the signs earlier, maybe, just maybe, things would have turned out differently.
The ride itself was uneventful. It took a while for Diccon to convince me that Andrew and Roger had not, in the past week, grown to three times their normal size but were, in fact, much closer to me than usual. We split into two groups at the agreed point and everything went to plan until the top of Reynalton hill.
By the time I arrived the others, Ian, Diccon, Graham and Dylan had been there a while. I understand there had bit a bit of funny business with allen keys in a hat and Ian and Diccon were off their bikes and eyeing up each others machines. I knew Ian had never been on a carbon bike and I respect him for that, I shouted to him to remember Zammo and ‘just say no’. I explained to him that, after turning the cranks, he would be hooked, I begged him to think of his family (wasn’t it one of their birthdays?) but he didn’t listen. Before you could say ‘crack cocaine’ he was tippie-toes pedalling on Diccon’s Felt racer towards Templeton. Diccon, meanwhile, was BMXing on Ian’s Bianchi taking care not to knock any of his teeth out with his knees. I knew from Ian’s face he was lost.
I know it’s fun at first. Test riding the latest Cannondale, dreaming about impossibly expensive groupsets, but soon, as we all know, it’s specialist magazines, darkened rooms and hastily cleared histories on the pc.
I hope I’m wrong, I hope Ian can be the one strong one amongst us who isn’t seduced by the word monocoque and who resists the urge to pick everyone elses bike up to gauge the weight and consider the stiffness.
I just don’t think it would’ve happened if Kim had been there.
Sweaty Eds
MemberThe first Narberth Dynamos themed ride took place today, encompassing the Daffodil Classic. To celebrate the release on DVD of John le Carre’s ‘Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy’ it was decided everyone would come incognito or spy-like.
Unfortunately, I was unaware of the theme due to work commitments last weekend and so stood out like a sore thumb bedecked in my club kit splendour.
I first realised all was not as it seemed when I was cycling through Princes Gate intending to meet everyone at the rendevous in Tavernspite. I heard a pssst pssst coming from a shady driveway. At first I thought it was a puncture, but then I saw, lurking in the shadows, a furtive figure that turned out to be Roger. He expanded at length on his cover story for the ride, he was a German ski instructor from the Matterhorn region. I congratulated him on his story and cycled on.
At Tavernspite it was decided that we would recreate a scene from the film where George Smiley thinks he is being followed. Huw, Andrew R, Roger, Andrew Ajax and Clover were all dressed in a way that could not be traced back to the club and were to get quite a long way ahead and pretend to be a spies on bikes. I would bring up the rear to check no-one was watching us. It shows how much Mark got into his role as rear-rear lookout that I didn’t spot he was behind me until we had reached Pendine.
Kim and Ian arrived with tales of Ian’s tweaked fetlock that had put paid to his attempt to run from Llanelli to Pendine, ride the Daffodil then swim home. We stayed in our themed roles for the rest of the ride. At one point Kim tried to join me as rear look-out but the natural order was soon restored.
The Daffodil Classic itself is a very enjoyable ride. I’m not sure whether my favourite part was the gentle incline at the start, the hailstones that temporarily blinded me in Trelech or the 30 mile an hour winds blowing dead against on the flat run in from Laugharne. Despite my Flat Earth leanings, I really do enjoy this ride.
I think everyone that completed the entire course deserves a pat on the back. Apparently, there was also a family ride, a Daffodil Lite, in which, after riding to the start and riding the Daffodil the rider is met at the finish by a family member and driven home. I suppose those that did that can still feel quite pleased with themselves and aim to do the proper ride (Home to Pendine – Daffodil Classic – Pendine to Home) next year.
Next week’s theme is the Wizard of Oz, bagsie Dorothy. 😆
Sweaty Eds
MemberI certainly don’t trust Huw!
Would love to plan a route, what about S1? It’s a nice length and there’s something for everyone. Bits of flat, little climbs, many easy bailout places and Freshwater Beast for the mountain goats.
Unfortunately, I won’t be out for a couple of Sunday’s. Busy saving lives next weekend (or cleaning up vomit depending on spread of Noravirus in WGH) then the Flat Earthers favourite, the Daffodil Classic the week after.
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