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January 20, 2013 at 11:12 pm #25402
No need for excuses this week for being late as, in common with most others (bar one…), Mr and Mrs ValleyMan decided it was too cold to venture out on the road. However, we did serve our penance by treating ourselves to a nbcyclecoaching workout that I thoughtfully bought Mrs ValleyMan for Xmas.
As I got the bikes ready in the shed I heard a lyrical welsh voice drifting down the valley. Peering through the trees, I could just make out a couple of fast moving bikes heading down Carding Mill Lane. A few minutes later, a mud splattered Slinky and Ant appeared at the gate (this was on their way out) asking if we would like to join them for a jaunt in the woods. We were not the only ones to decline this kind offer; I understand that they were also snubbed by our Chairman who apparently was too busy mucking out his stables.
Tracker extraordinaire Slinky suspected there may have been a semblance of a Club ride as he found two tyre tracks at Bloomfield. It transpired this was Stoneditch who had a lonely solo ride on a frosty morning.
Celia decided not to venture out either as her shepee had shrivelled up in the extreme cold rendering it useless for expressions of athletic prowess. I understand Roger’s hepee suffered a similar fate.
By the time we had finished our turbo session (did my bum look big in the video Ant?) two barely recognisable mountain bikers passed by covered from head to toe in red Pembrokeshire mud. I thought at first the noise was a poorly adjusted groupset, but no it was the chattering of their teeth….
A later review of Strava indicated that LegalEagle has been out and about no doubt touting for business amongst the unfortunates who had slipped on un-gritted pavements.January 21, 2013 at 12:31 am #25403The Slinky OtterMember
When the calypso band playing on the beach is that good, you can’t help but hang out there until sunrise sipping on mango daiquiri’s and puffing on cuban’s finest. As the sun-rose at 4am, I slipped in between the silk sheets and took a few hours sleep before being woken up by crickets and the waves gently breaking on the shore at 9:30am. Even at this early hour the temperature was into the mid 20’s. I slipped on the flip-flops and a pair of linen shorts, rubbed some factor 50 into my finely toned chest and met Anthony for a gentle ride.
We stopped several times to admire the strange and wonderful array of fauna on display. As we left town we cycled down a track with coconut trees lining the side, then a pineapple plantation. We continued into the thicker tropical forest where we saw two baboons hiding in a dark den together, then seemed fearful of the outside world, despite trying to coax them out with bananas and nuts, they refused to leave.
It was a wonderful trip all in all, baked tracks made for good easy riding and the company was excellent. We passed a waterfall where the fallen water had formed a light mist which made the heat bearable, which now must have been in the early 30’s. We cycled back into town were I bid fair-well to Anthony and headed back to my beach hut were I had intended to hose the dust off my bike but my hosepipe was frozen, I mean the well had run dry due to a month without rain.January 21, 2013 at 7:39 am #25404celiaMember
Had a lie in for once, kids at grandma’s
Love The Rain, Live Your DreamJanuary 21, 2013 at 12:18 pm #25405Sweaty EdsMember
Mr McSlinkster Doolittle,
Unbelievable as it may seem, I saw those self same baboons in a car later on in the afternoon yesterday. Beautiful shy creatures both of them, interestingly it was the beast with the more sloping forehead (the one that I’d assumed was the less intelligent of the mating pair) that was driving. Obviously, he had very little control of the vehicle, swerving this way and that, randomly stopping in the High Street and scratching. I thought he was trying to communicate with me because he wound the window down and gabbered something. I kept on walking because I don’t speak Baboon.
It was just after the baboons had kangarooed off into the snowy distance that I was told something, strictly on the QT you understand, that made sense of Roger, his affliction (you know, the one in his saddle area) and his fascination with the shepee. Now I know this is just a rumour and that you shouldn’t believe all you hear at the bar on a snowy Sunday afternoon in The Ivy, and you know I’m not one to spread gossip, but, apparently, it was his testing of the prototype of the ‘Hepoo’, (a Heath Robinson cycle crapping contraption) that upset things in his back passage. Obviously it’s pure speculation, but I was informed that the big debate with the design of the ‘Hepoo’ was whether to make the collection funnel connection an internal or external appendage. Apparently, it was prototype #3 (internal) that did the damage to our competitive club-mate and for prototype #4 the connection will very definitely be external.January 21, 2013 at 12:45 pm #25406
Therefore, if we made Roger race round and round the streets of Narberth with this device fitted, would he be a Hepoo-crit?January 21, 2013 at 3:34 pm #25408Sweaty EdsMember
By jolly, ValleyMan, I think you’re on to something.
I’m pretty sure that to practise medicine you have to have sworn to abide by the Hepoo-cratic Oath.January 21, 2013 at 3:52 pm #25409
I don’t remember the testing of prototype surgical appliances being in that oath…January 21, 2013 at 8:50 pm #25413
Roger, if at any point you start to struggle up the hills, perhaps you should have your Hepoo-globin checked.January 21, 2013 at 10:17 pm #25414
OMG…I hope this is not a prelude to a torrent of mangled medical terms eg Hepootitis, hepoocarcinoma, etcJanuary 23, 2013 at 7:54 am #25416MorganiteMember
Posts are going well, considering no one much actually got outJanuary 23, 2013 at 9:23 am #25417celiaMember
It’s like willy waving, but with words…..
Love The Rain, Live Your DreamJanuary 23, 2013 at 10:13 am #25418The Slinky OtterMember
Wise words Celia.
I think we need to sort this out once and for all. Next Tuesday we are all going to get our actual willy’s out, have a bloody good look and maybe then we get past all this bravado.
TPJanuary 23, 2013 at 1:00 pm #25424
Me thinks its a little too cold…
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