Things we have learnt this week.
1. Valleyman’s winter training schedule of rest and red wine is finally beginning to pay off.
It’s easy to follow the herd and engage in the grunt and grind of Tuesday Turbo and I’m sure we have all benefited, to a greater or lesser extent, from monitoring our heart rate, increasing our cadence and weighing our poos. But it takes a brave man, a visionary of Obree-esque proportions, to turn his back on modern scientific training methods and plough the lone furrow of radical volte-face extremism with regard to fitness as Ian has done.
I’m sure I do not speak alone when I offer him my congratulations on his KOM, the first of many I would suppose. I look forward to his assault on the Strava Classics, Tanners Lane, Narberth Hill and the Valley Road TT.
One thing bothers me though, the name Valleyman reflects his old ways, the late arriving, latern rouge carrying, work from homing, veggie. I think he needs a new name, one that better identifies him as the man with the hammer, a ruthless assassin intent only on inflicting pain whatever the cost. I propose he now be known as ‘Badass’.
2. Matt G is using the forum to secretly communicate with the Russians.
Matt G.’s random posts have long confused me. At various times I have tried to explain them to myself by assuming he types them in the dark. If we suppose that he actually has no windows or artificial light in his house it would also explain the way he dresses. But his wife and daughter dress quite normally so that can’t be it. Another thought was that he has extremely chubby fingers and cannot quite work the keyboard. Counting against this theory is the fact that he is tall and slim and his fingers are elegant frankfurters compared to my stubby chipolatas. Ultimately, it was Jonny Mad Doig who explained the seemingly incoherent offerings to me.
JMD pointed out that if you looked at Matt’s last few posts and took the first letter from each word of the Pub Quiz entry and then add the same from the Roberson weather and then the big noises bullies entries you end up with ‘INVADE CRIMEA’. Spooky!
Looking further back his Alpine Adventure write up gives you ‘ROGER ENJOYS THE SHAME OF WALKING’ and his many posts regarding The Worzels can be interpreted as ‘WHERE IS THE CLUB KIT?’.
You can’t really argue with the message, well maybe the bit about invading Crimea, but just what are we going to do about Roger’s insistence on the walk of shame in full club kit whenever he’s not leading? Maybe Badass could guide us.
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