Re: Sunday Ride 13th Jan 2013

[ValleyMan]

First the excuses. This week, once again it was our intention to get to Bloomfield by 0900, however…

As I peered out of the bedroom window wondering how many layers might be required, I had the temerity to ask Mrs ValleyMan how cold it was as she had already been out to unleash the chickens. Rather than simply providing an objective response, she simply threw open the bedroom window instantly reducing my glorious manhood to something that wasn’t.

Suitably attired I headed to the shed to complete the ritual tooling up with spare tires and putting on my overshoes, however, in the few minutes out in the cold my fingers had gone numb so I had to find a pair of pliers to pull up the zips. 1 precious minute lost.

Throwing caution to the wind, we tried to make up lost time along a very slippery Valley Road but our best endeavours were thwarted by traffic lights on Northfield Road and we arrived 2 minutes late. Now clearly, if the lengthy potential delay had been posted on the BBC travel page as one might have reasonably anticipated, we could have taken this into account and adjusted our departure time accordingly.

Once the now ritual piss taking had subsided, it was just possible to identify the individuals who had assembled for the ride from their rather more generous than usual outlines caused in part (Xmas excess clearly still an issue for some) by numerous extra layers of clothing. Sweaty, Flapjack, Roger, Jonathon, Nick G and Huw were joined by new members Tim and Dave who decided to make the step up from Tuesday Turbo sessions. However, as has been reported elsewhere, there was no sign of the Chairman.

We decided that the advertised route might be a bit hazardous so headed out of Narberth via Coxhill. A speeding black van screeched to a halt up ahead disgorging our third new member for the ride, Sian, Roger’s Partner (from his practice in case you were worried).

The harsh conditions took their toll and Dave retired at Canesten Bridge due to the risk of frostbite to his fingers.

All this delay and an unplanned detour meant we were late at our rendezvous with LegalEagle who couldn’t be arsed to wait and decided to go it alone. However, as we approached Canasten Bowl, peering ahead we could just make out the mesmerising glinting of the low morning sun off his rapidly rotating peddles. In no time, the peloton was upon him.

Roger, having made sure he had told everybody that Sian was a sub 13 hour Ironman, resorted to his alpha-male type (‘willy-waving’ as Huw delicately put it) and made a point of sprinting away up the hills.

Nick kept the rest of us at a steady pace and we rode together in tight knit group on what was turning out to be a beautiful morning and clearly popular with cyclists and joggers alike. As we headed down the hill to Hodgeston, a moron decided to overtake us towards the blind bend at the bottom. Just as they came alongside the now slightly strung out group, a car came around the corner in the opposite direction. As the potential drama unfolded, LegalEagle was reaching for his cards, however, disaster was averted and the potential for a class action abated as both cars slowed to a halt finishing bumper to bumper as we serenely rolled past.

This did lead me to ponder on the extensive range of professional services available on hand to Club Members on this frosty morning ride; two GPs and an Osteopath to tend to our ailments, legal counsel should the need arise (see above), a pharmacist to help us get up the hills and a GIS expert (Tim) to ensure we didn’t get lost. Sadly, I couldn’t think of any immediate benefit of having one IT specialist and four others allied with the construction industry unless we stopped for a very long coffee break.

Talking of which, rolling into Tenby (breaking the 9th line of the Dynamos Prayer), we pulled over for a discussion about the highlight of the ride, the proposed coffee stop. Regrettably the weak-willed, lily-livered waiverers were quickly won over by the force of argument of the doubters and a ‘consensus’ was reached that resulted its abandonment. Tim was understandably and justifiably gutted.

The now well-trodden path back to Narberth was followed via Stepaside and Ludchurch where, as reported above, we called in to check on the ailing health of Chairman ‘call that a proper job’ ButcherBoy Chavez. This is story that will doubtless run and run…

The 42 miles were covered in some 3.5 hours. No sign just yet of Roger’s entrance into the world of Strava, however, he seems perfectly content for the time being just keeping abreast of the temperature on his new toy. I am sure we can look forward to lots more willy-waving once he gets round to reading the manual.