Reply To: Thursday 25th April

[Sweaty Eds]

Five and the Unfortunate Professor

The fair-weather five, Maps Mark, Bookworm Stag, Trumper Matt J, Stinky Andrew Ajax and Porky Sweaty Eds, met in their tree house hideout in the old oak tree at the end of Matt’s Uncle Roger’s garden. Aunt Vicky had made the five a delicious tea of marmalade sandwiches, fizzy pop and sherbet dib-dabs. Aunt Vicky was cross with Uncle Roger, some misunderstanding with a tandem and some photos on Facebook. Poor Uncle Roger spent the evening smoking his pipe in his shed. He must have been quite annoyed because, from the amount of smoke wafting out, it looked as if he was electing a new Pope. After finishing the final dib-dab, Maps outlined a plan to visit the eccentric old inventor, Professor Dan, in his Landshipping laboratory. Apparently the Professor was attempting to prove that asymmetric wheels could improve cycling performance in a fashion similar to the asymmetric cranks favoured by the wealthy boys in Whitland. The five agreed it was a super idea and, with a thunderous parp from Trumper, off the boys set.

They bumped into one of the gypsies from the camp in Clunderwen who offered three shillings and six for the five’s bikes ‘As scrap’. Stinky took him to one side and patiently explained that the bikes where made from carbon and that he’d better sling his hook sharpish or the five’d tell PC Rees that the dirty oikes had been bothering them again. Whether it was Stinky’s words or something more pungent, the Carnie boy, Ants, retreated whence he’d came.

Maps certainly lived up to his name. This way and that the boys rode, racing down the hills, cursing and swearing their way up others, all the while closing in on Landshipping and the crazy Professor. In truth, the boys would have been there sooner if Bookworm hadn’t insisted on stopping to write a poem when, in tears, he spied a little baby bunny gambolling in the woods.

Well, what a sight met their eyes on arrival in Lawrenny. In the distance Stinky had spied a strange figure bobbing up and down on a bicycle with egg shaped wheels. ‘It’s the Professor’ shouted Trumper, ‘Look how fast his legs are going round! Let’s go and say hello.’ With that he let out a mighty celebratory guff and, showing off slightly, lit it. Just as the five were edging closer to the Professor, the wafer thin rims on the Ova-wheels collapsed sending the mad inventor crashing to the floor. Now, dear reader, I cannot here repeat what the Professor shouted, let’s just say that Porky’s ears are still bleeding and Bookworm will not be using them in his next missive.

Disappointed, the boys turned for home. Their spirits were raised when Porky found a bar of Dairy Milk in his shorts and everyone had a slightly-ever-so-melted, share. Bookworm Stag recited his newly written ode, ‘My Beautiful Bounding Bunny’ to speed the five home in time for chocolate biscuits and cocoa.

Another topping adventure!