Re: Sunday 11th March Ride

[Sweaty Eds]

A beautiful morning, sunshine, no wind, a quorum of club members, everything set for a great ride. Who could have predicted that this day would surely see the beginning of the end for one of the club’s stalwarts.

There were early signs, of course, there always are. Explaining Kim’s absence with a dismissive shrug, arriving on time, that sort of thing. If only we’d been alive to the signs earlier, maybe, just maybe, things would have turned out differently.

The ride itself was uneventful. It took a while for Diccon to convince me that Andrew and Roger had not, in the past week, grown to three times their normal size but were, in fact, much closer to me than usual. We split into two groups at the agreed point and everything went to plan until the top of Reynalton hill.

By the time I arrived the others, Ian, Diccon, Graham and Dylan had been there a while. I understand there had bit a bit of funny business with allen keys in a hat and Ian and Diccon were off their bikes and eyeing up each others machines. I knew Ian had never been on a carbon bike and I respect him for that, I shouted to him to remember Zammo and ‘just say no’. I explained to him that, after turning the cranks, he would be hooked, I begged him to think of his family (wasn’t it one of their birthdays?) but he didn’t listen. Before you could say ‘crack cocaine’ he was tippie-toes pedalling on Diccon’s Felt racer towards Templeton. Diccon, meanwhile, was BMXing on Ian’s Bianchi taking care not to knock any of his teeth out with his knees. I knew from Ian’s face he was lost.

I know it’s fun at first. Test riding the latest Cannondale, dreaming about impossibly expensive groupsets, but soon, as we all know, it’s specialist magazines, darkened rooms and hastily cleared histories on the pc.

I hope I’m wrong, I hope Ian can be the one strong one amongst us who isn’t seduced by the word monocoque and who resists the urge to pick everyone elses bike up to gauge the weight and consider the stiffness.

I just don’t think it would’ve happened if Kim had been there.