Evidently Turbo Training

(with apologies to John Cooper Clarke)

The bloody bikes are set in bloody rows,

And bloody Roger’s ahead by a bloody nose,

But bloody Ian’s wonky bloody chain,

Is only bloody off a-bloody-gain,

Now bloody Huw’s got bloody power,

Churning 4000 bloody watts a bloody hour,

See bloody Andrew ignoring bloody Nick,

It’s bloody sweat that makes him bloody tick.

While outside it’s cold and still bloody raining,

We’re bloody hot cos we’re turbo-training.

The bloody coach is bloody Brown,

Now bloody change gear bloody down,

One at the bloody front, two at the bloody back,

Quick, bloody chase that bloody attack,

Once bloody more up an imagi-bloody-nary hill,

Actually bloody feeling really bloody ill,

Then bloody warm down, plain bloody sailing,

Evidently turbo-training.