Re: Sunday Ride 20th Jan 2013

[Sweaty Eds]

Mr McSlinkster Doolittle,

Unbelievable as it may seem, I saw those self same baboons in a car later on in the afternoon yesterday. Beautiful shy creatures both of them, interestingly it was the beast with the more sloping forehead (the one that I’d assumed was the less intelligent of the mating pair) that was driving. Obviously, he had very little control of the vehicle, swerving this way and that, randomly stopping in the High Street and scratching. I thought he was trying to communicate with me because he wound the window down and gabbered something. I kept on walking because I don’t speak Baboon.

It was just after the baboons had kangarooed off into the snowy distance that I was told something, strictly on the QT you understand, that made sense of Roger, his affliction (you know, the one in his saddle area) and his fascination with the shepee. Now I know this is just a rumour and that you shouldn’t believe all you hear at the bar on a snowy Sunday afternoon in The Ivy, and you know I’m not one to spread gossip, but, apparently, it was his testing of the prototype of the ‘Hepoo’, (a Heath Robinson cycle crapping contraption) that upset things in his back passage. Obviously it’s pure speculation, but I was informed that the big debate with the design of the ‘Hepoo’ was whether to make the collection funnel connection an internal or external appendage. Apparently, it was prototype #3 (internal) that did the damage to our competitive club-mate and for prototype #4 the connection will very definitely be external.