Re: Carten 100 2012

[Sweaty Eds]

Punctures – The Walton Way

First, ensure plentiful supply of punctures by riding along pothole-ridden, hawthorn-strewn cycle path.

Then, when inevitable puncture results, pull over to side of road and initiate the inner tube change procedure.

1. Carefully place gloves on handy barrier.

2. Carefully remove spare inner tube and tyre levers from saddlebag.

3. Carefully place dust cap and washer from burst tyre on handy barrier.

4. Deftly slip tyre from rim using tyre levers.

5. Rashly slam tyre lever onto handy barrier causing previously carefully placed objects to fall into long grass and disappear from view.

6. Scowl at offer of assistance to find previously carefully placed objects now nestling deep in the undergrowth.

7. Carefully examine punctured inner tube looking for tiny pin prick.

8. Scowl when assistant suggests it may be more appropriate to do that away from speeding traffic when other club members are not waiting for us.

9. Carefully place dust cap and washer from replacement tyre on handy barrier.

10. Deftly slip new inner tube into position and replace tyre using tyre levels.

11. Rashly slam tyre lever onto handy barrier for a second time causing previously carefully placed objects to fall into long grass and disappear from view.

12. Scowl.

13. Rejoin peloton.

14. Stop every 400-500 yards to reinflate tyre until the need to re-replace inner tube becomes overpowering.

15. Repeat steps 1 to 15.

Truly a masterclass. 😆