Re: As wet as an otters pocket – lets offroad!

[ValleyMan]

Careful not to display club colours and speaking in hushed tones, the ND Heretics Group assembled at the Bloomfield Car Park under leaden skies. The courage of the convictions of several members of this emerging sect failed them at the last minute so we were just five, Slinky, Sweaty, Clundurban and Mr and Mrs ValleyMan.

As we approached Carmarthen the heavens opened. We speculated if this was a sign of displeasure from some higher power (had Butcherboy been investing in cloud seeding?) but to the east a bright light shone on the peaks rising above the Cothi Valley and strengthened our resolve.

We arrived at the Brecfa Forest Car Park at around mid day and with some trepidation the ‘Brecfa Virgins’ amongst us mounted our steeds. Slinky and Clunurban pondered on an appropriate choice of route having quizzed us closely on our mountain biking experience. The results of this extensive survey were promptly ignored as it was decided that after a gentle warm up we would take in part of the black route.

The cardinal rules of mountain biking were recited before the off, however, it was obvious that Rule No.1, no visible lycra, was being violated by several members of the party who were clearly refugees from the ‘other way’.

At our first regroup Slinky noted a slight hissing noise which was traced to the rear wheel of ValleyGirl’s bike which, like some scene from the Omen, was oozing a green slime. Tube replaced and we were off again. The terrain was challenging with most climbs on very narrow trails in the bottom 2 to 3 geasr of the triple groupset.

Sudden stops of the bike in front at low speed leave little time to unclip and several close shaves occurred, on in Sweaty’s case, a bit beyond a close shave. At the top of a long climb we took a short detour onto part of a black trail. The despite helpful advice such as ‘don’t use your brake’s and ‘keep your weight to the rear’, discretion became the better part of valour for several of us and we did a Roger on the downhill sections.

It was then a long decent back to the car park (with a few more climbs…) involving fast flowing undulating tracks through the pine forest. Once the mortal fear of a head on collision with a tree, or flying off the side of track into the ether had passed, this was exhilarating, if surprisingly tiring.

We arrived back at the cars caked in wet mud. It was at this point that the lack of experience showed as the logistics of getting into some semblance of clean and/or dry clothes had not been fully planned in advance. This resulted in a slight ‘costume malfunction’ that I am hoping was not captured for posterity (pun intended).

Slinky and Clunburban headed back to Narberth to watch the ‘Game’ whereas the ValleyRoad Crew and Sweaty retired to the Black Lion for a well earned pint (or two) and a very agreeable lunch.

All in all a very enjoyable outing and one to be repeated.

Ride Statistics:

Offs: Sweaty 3, ValleyMan 1

Distance: 10.1 m

Climbing: 1,323ft

Average Speed: 7.1 mph

PS If anyone has access to the Chairman’s Xmas list, perhaps this could be sabotaged with the addition of ‘Mountain Bike’.